ThatFeel it took me 4 months of almost daily AA meetings to feel ready to throw them away, and I was still smoking weed too. I was terrified to give those last 2 things up because in my mind they were the things that actually helped me, and in some ways they did, but in the huge majority of ways they just kept me enslaved to the pain and anxiety of when will I use? how will I pay for it? How can I ever stop? the guilt and the shame of not being able to leave the house without popping pills and hitting my bong 3 or 4 times, then getting in my car and driving to work high and thinking it was ok because at least I wasn't drinking. I would never have been able to just throw them away without a really strong support network already in place and that's why face to face meetings are so good in my opinion. After I threw them out and gave up the weed I started going to NA as well as AA and the people there kept me clean through the toughest part of my recovery- being REALLY sober for the 1st time since I was 15.
I really do feel for you and I know it is so so hard. The borderline you are on of either detox or NA is actually a positive place to be, choose one and dive in, with medical advice if it is the former. I wasn't sober when I first started going to meetings but everyone was patient and kind and most importantly they educated me on how to live without it all, I for one had NO idea how to even get out of bed without using, they and people on here showed me how.
Plus I can't say for you to put your pills anywhere I am not a doctor and withdrawals can be some of the worst from benzos, but I just wanted you to know my experience and the freedom I finally got from doing it.
I hope that you continue to gain resolve and I wish you all the best dude