Shellcrusher, you are right, a lot of damage has been done by both of us and there is much to earn back in this marriage. I'm hopeful that at some point, we can get back to couples counseling and work on the issues between us, as it stands now, she's working her "program" only and I'm doing everything I can. She won't even consider couples counseling until her sponsor blesses it, so I have much to think about in the very near future and decide if I want to live like this any longer. Thanks again for all the advice.