granolaprincess

I am in the process of ending a relationship due to addiction. We had just set the date for our wedding and were getting ready to purchase a home together, so I was blind-sighted by his sudden desire for space after I made a comment that daily pot usage was unacceptable. He claims I'm the best thing to ever happen to him and at the same time he is upset that I'm not accepting him for himself. He also drinks beer daily, and gets drunk occasionally. I've been through rehab w/ my mom (she was an alcoholic) and I was taught that if you need it, it's a problem. Going off of that premise I'm convinced he's an addict, but he sees it as a way to relax, much in the way that others watch TV, scrapbook, or ride a bike. I'm miserable because I love him so much, he's a great guy, loving, caring and attentive, and is what I would call a functioning addict. I have to leave to be true to myself, but I'm in a ton of pain. He says we'll work it out with him 3 hours away at school, but I think this is a passive way of ending the relationship. He, of course, doesn't see it that way. He's not sure we'll work it out, and agrees he needs to grow up, but isn't sure if he's ready to give up the lifestyle he's chosen for most of his life. Just the idea that he's willing to walk away from "the best thing" to ever happen to him tells me he's an addict. He's willing to do couples therapy so I'm looking for a professional in my area. I'm not holding out for this change, and I'm trying to look forward (it's not easy right now). I've been through this before and refuse to go through it again, regardless of how it feels right now. It's not fair to either of us. Support, wisdom and input are all welcome. Thx