Reset

From some of my other posts you may remember that I haven't told anyone in my family about quitting, including my wife. She's noticed but so far the topic has remained un-discussed, it's day 43.

Last night I was stressing a bit because we were headed for dinner at my in-laws and drinking is always involved at these events. My in-laws are very generous people, have tons of great booze, and my father in-law and I would always drink together, the two of us more than anyone else there.

Usually, right when we'd walk in the door I'd be offered a beer or a cocktail but not last night. My wife helped herself to a beer. Her dad asked if he could "get me anything" and I took a Diet Coke. Other people were offered champagne and wine before dinner, but not me. My father in-law poured himself a whiskey (from the bottle that I had given him for Christmas) and then thanked me for it, said he was enjoying it. Usually he would offer me some, more than once if I initially refused. But not last night.

During dinner he quietly offered me a glass of wine and I said no thanks and he just left it at that.

So the thing I had feared didn't materialize, which is that I was going to be offered alcohol and then have the whole topic come up in public. But what I suspect really happened, and what I didn't expect, is that everyone knows what's going on but is being too polite to discuss it. I'm thinking my wife told them something about my quitting.

And what's even scaring me more is the possibility that everyone else thinks my quitting is a good thing and perhaps overdue. And that's a sinking realization that doesn't feel too good at all.

Anyway just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks.