I totally agree with everyone else. Dependent people move on quickly because they can't function without someone to take care of them...someone to drain energy from.
Originally Posted by
MyBetterWorld 
I am finding that even when he was around, I did do most of the stuff for the kids, but I guess he did do some things around the house, because even in the calm there is now a different kind of chaos. Not a bad chaos, just a fly by the seat of our pants kind of chaos.
I just wanted to tell you that it DOES get better. For the first six months after XAH was gone, my life was shambles. I felt like I was failing my kids...forgetting to do homework, digging clean socks/shirts/underwear out of one of multiple baskets of clean laundry laying around the house, eating cereal and sandwiches for dinner every night, forgetting friends' birthday parties...all with the house being a complete wreck! I could not figure out how things got so chaotic after such a burden was lifted. But the fact is, even if someone is only doing 20%, that's 20% less for you to do.
100% requires a hefty adjustment but it does happen. You eventually find a "new normal". I'm now at 8 months later and life is clearing up. I have a routine down with the boys, laundry is getting put away, the house is back to its normal level of clutter and I'm back to being able to do some of the Mommy extras. Today I sent my boys out the door with all their Valentines done and 2 dozen cupcakes each. Three months ago, I didn't think the day would ever come.
Hang in there, friend. Take care of yourself so you have energy for your kiddos. The are going to need you. Keep talking to them...ask them how they are doing, if they have any questions. Sometimes they don't always know the questions to ask but are wondering. You can be a source of great stability and strength for them right now and it sounds like they are really going to need it.