Yes the crazy feelings went when I divorced. I was no longer in that crazy place where I was accepting things I just did not accept. I was no longer tolerating things that went against my core values.
For a long time I did not allow myself any option but to stay married. After years of 'strategies', 'discussions', and 'plans', I gave up. I accepted and I tolerated - but I could not detach. I could produce the actions of acceptance and tolerance but underneath I was seething. It was eating me alive. To deal with this I became very flat. Everything negative went under the lid but to do that *everything* went under the lid. There was no joy, no anger, no happy, no sad, no mad, no excited, no nothing. There was the inner me spinning like a crazy top and the outer me that was ....flat. My kids used to ask "Are you happy?" when we were doing a fun thing or "Are you mad" at any random time.....because they could not tell. I was usually just very very serious and pragmatic. I did not express emotions....until the lid popped off and all that underlying anger came spewing out over some inconsequential thing.
Once apart, I could control my world in a way that led me to safety and security. Behavior, values, acceptance, and feelings could all overlap. There were no conflicts. I knew I could pay my bills. I knew I could have a bedtime for my kids. I knew I could make a plan for tomorrow and that it would happen. I knew I could protect my boundaries regarding my body. Better yet - I knew I wouldn't have to protect them. They were safe. Everything was safe. The 'crazy' went away. It took about 3 months.
The thing I still struggle with (I've been divorce a year) is I am still very serious. I have to remind myself to have fun and be joyful and silly. Young boys need that. it doesn't happen if I don't 'make' it happen.
I also still struggle with not paying attention to what I need and taking *actions* to deal with it. Related to that is I still need to learn better ways to cope with and release anger, frustration, negative energy. I've exploded twice over the last two weeks. That is not OK. It is a wake up call that I need to quit whining about being overwhelmed and do something to deal with it because I'm way to old to have a tantrum.
Divorce did not magically give me the skills to know how to deal with that, it just allowed me the mental/emotional space to stop spinning and see it and work on it. I have released the anger, resentment, rage. I'm not doing anything that would fill that tank back up. Thank heavens.