It doesn't sound like anyone was "blaming" her, just informing her. Usually when I'm feeling offended, it's because of my own spin I'm putting on it.
Usually there is a reading of the Preamble at meetings, which states the Primary Purpose (to stay sober and to help others to achieve sobriety). There are a lot of customs and traditions (with a little "t") at various local meetings. If we announced them all there wouldn't be much meeting time (some of my meetings actually DO have readings/announcements that go on too long, IMO).
I don't believe that most Al-Anon groups would appreciate someone's spouse or partner (who isn't affected by someone else's drinking) sharing at a meeting.
I know I've inadvertently (mostly when I was new) committed the occasional "faux pas" at meetings. I've been kindly informed afterward that what I said/did was not appropriate. Yeah, it feels embarrassing, but I'd rather have someone tell me than to continue to do something that upset the others.