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Old 02-13-2011, 07:06 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
tj808
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: dorset
Posts: 5
who are "undecided"--meaning they don't know if they're agnostic, atheist, spiritual or what. They had the highest rates of relapse and drank the most. I guess there's some merit when they say, "God is everything or nothing." Nothing is okay, but "I don't know" may get you into trouble.

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Hi,

I have just joined this forum and went straight to this section.

I totally relate to the "undecided" and "god is everything or nothing".

Over the years I came to understand the god idea as
"most people who come into recovery have little or no self parenting skills- and the higher power - god - concept is a process that helps this".

In some ways I wish I hadn't heard this because it has left me more open to (and if nothing else understanding of) the god/HP idea.

I was forced to pray in rehab and then through my sponsor in AA. I said the step 3 and 7 prayer daily for years...and it became etched into my thinking that if i didn't I would relapse..

As time went on I questioned other people's use of HP or god and most times realised most were talking about the same "person"...which confused me as I still hadn't grasped my own understanding of one....
and the sentence "may you find *him* now" just escalated that confusion..

In the end I left AA and took up with an online secular group...and "de-programmed" from alot of AA.

I recently went back to an AA meeting and I realise I have just woken up a growling black dog... that took me a while to put to sleep..

I have a mental health disorder that encompasses extreme social phobia
and I felt the need to get to F2F meeting to combat 5 years of self imposed isolation.

I have to say I haven't slept well in the last 3 days
I have lost the simplicity of why I am an alcoholic that I found away from AA..
and keep my mental health issues as seperate as possible.

There is much in AA that I love...and equally as much that I don't..

I have never been too good at taking what I need and leaving the rest..

I am glad you wrote about "undecided" etc...it has helped me think about whether to come down firmly on one side or the other..

and I know which side I feel more comfortable with.

Tim.
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