This is a very interesting and difficult process! I too see my mother, the kind, caring and intelligent woman, as someone totally different than the person that usually haunts this house and those living inside it. I cannot stand to be in the same room with that person, looking into those big empty eyes and wait for her to finish a sentence that my mother could have finished in half the time. I hate that woman and wish she weren't there. Nothing about her is the same, not her facial expressions or even her voice. The feeling of having to miss someone for weeks while in fact they're standing right in front of you is unbearable.
Sadly the days where I get to spend time with my real mom are far and few in between and sometimes it is even difficult for me to distinguish between my mother and the alcoholic that has taken over her body. And so I have also said goodbye to her, 80% of the time... I love the days where she is actually back, but it is so difficult at the same time to simply forget about what happens between those times where I get to see her.
Detachment is a good thing, but very difficult!
Good luck
