There have been a couple 'bottoms' in my relationship with XAH. The one related to his alcoholism was not long after he came back from a 28-day in-patient treatment program and we met for lunch. As we left the restaurant, I asked him a couple of questions about our family and his program. He came back with "Every one is telling me I was sick, but I don't see it." And "It was always the hard stuff, the vodka. I don't have a problem with beer." I realized that nothing was going to change. I went to the storage unit, grabbed my wedding dress, brought it home and shredded it by hand. I posted pics of the dress shredding to my facebook titled "I do believe I've had enough". It was very cathartic.