Hi, Jarhead Im feeling your pain Mon. will be my 30th day. I just left my home in New Jersey and am trying to start over in Florida were I grew up. I left behind my 15yr.old daughter, 11yr.old son and boyfriend(whom was my partner in crime and is now in rehab in NJ). Leaving them behind has been by far the hardest thing Ive ever done, but I was worthless to them the way I was living my life the last year&half. Ive had many failed attemps at staying clean (detox,rehabs etc.) but refuse to stop trying. This is my longest sober time and the only thing so far keeping me clean is my faith in God and my children. I can relate to the serious gut wrenching guilt u r feeling but we can only go forward. My mom gives me little inspirational quotes to lift my spirits and give me motivation so thought I'd share with u:
"Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."
" A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her."
Best of luck and stay strong.