Oh wow zrx: "15 years from now when you have two kids and no money in savings you'll be second guessing yourself on why you hung around so long"
Yep, my story to the hilt! Like I said, I really don't know what to tell you, except that my own story sounds so similar to yours at 25, 26, and I can't believe where I am right now.
I remember back in the day going out, I might say something a bit nagging to my AH. People would say to me, "oh, he's just having fun! give him a break!!!" Seriously! I thought I was crazy sometimes. He admitted to having a drinking problem. But doing something about it, well, that was another story. Meanwhile, I got the label, the nagging wife who wouldn't let her fun-loving husband have fun. He was a fun person, a happy drunk. People loved being around him. But they weren't the ones dragging him home...out of the car totally passed out and into the house hoping I could get him to bed without one of us falling down and getting hurt in the process. One of my AH's friends even had it out with me one night, told me I was a control freak who couldn't handle him having a little fun. Seriously, it's ridiculous at times. But nothing can stop the gut feelings, and noticing the red flags. Don't ignore your gut. It is telling you something.