Is it just me, or does anyone else read this thread and find it eerily familiar to past conversations with their alcoholic spouses? Maybe its me, I recognize I am touchy but it seems like we're all defending something the original poster simply doesn't want to hear, but instead of dropping the original question, the poster continues to argue and defend while the rest of us argue and defend. My goodness - welcome to my marriage with my RAH.
dogluvah - please go date your guy. Give it a chance. Feed your curiosity. This forum will be here for you if ever you need it. But you will not change anyone here's perspective on their reality, any more than they have been able to change yours.