Buttercream, I don't mean to offend you in any way, and I hope I haven't.
Yes, I guess I am trying to remain positive until I know if the situation is hopeless for me because I do kind of like him.
I am looking for someone that if he does have a problem would be willing to change it. There are some things that I admire about him, he believes in God and doesn't believe in extra-marital sex.
And for the other poster, I appreciate your advice too, but what is wrong with comparing him to Obama? The President of the United States is just a man like the rest of us. Obama smoked, Michelle didn't like it, married him anyway because she liked him and later on, he quit smoking. I'm sure she didn't let him smoke around her or he kids either. She's a very smart woman and knows it's not healthy, but she didn't leave him either.
But, I do hear all of you and it's scary what you are saying. I just need to know more about where his mind it. If his attitude is, "I like drinking heavily all the time, and I like smoking, and I won't change for you or anybody" welll, there would be skid marks from my car leaving his drive way after that.
When he admitted to drinking after work, and I asked him if it was much, his response to me was, "not that much". This is why I'm trying to give the guy a chance in my mind until I learn more.