I haven't quite hit the "rock bottom", but I am very, very close. My slide towards the bottom has been going on for the last couple of years... my moment of epiphany came to me while we were on a much needed family vacation to Florida. On our second night (in a beautiful resort), my AH proceeded to get very, very drunk and he was insulting the other vacationers, got a switchblade and was approaching "suspicious" people on the beach and basically terrorizing us (his family). He kept saying he needed to protect us and running to the door and flinging it open. It was a kind of crazy that I had never seen before and it scared me to death. In a very tense moment, I looked around the room and saw the faces of my children... my oldest was angry, my youngest was terrified and my middle was the peacemaker trying to calm AH and everyone else down. I knew immediately that I needed to make some changes!
The changes that I have made have been slow, but noticeable. I started attending al-anon, attending family seminars at treatment centers and working very, very hard on detaching. I struggle a lot with just letting go, but I am getting there.