I'm starting to think there's a difference between "abuse" and "abusive," more than just the noun/verb versus adjective difference.
My thoughts:
Abuse is verbal, emotional, or physical usually, and has full intent to harm someone, although it may be subconscious. Not all alcoholics "dole this out" to their partners, or family. If the alcoholic does utilize abuse, it will absolutely remain after the alcohol is gone (and sometimes even get worse!) unless the abuser acknowledges
this as well, and also seeks help. They are two separate entities.
Abusers from this category do also utilize many of the forms of "abusive behavior" in the next paragraph(s) as well.
Someone who is abusive (but not an "Abuser"), meanwhile, doesn't necessarily have a conscious or subconscious decision to hurt, they could do it by accident through their other choices. I believe that all alcoholics/addicts are abusive to some extent, otherwise their families/partners/children wouldn't have all these coping mechanisms to deal with things. Spending all the family money to feed the addiction is abusive, because it means more stress to try and figure out how to feed the family. Spending all the individual's time drinking is abusive, because it leaves the family feeling neglected. Drinking to the point of passing out, peeing in closets, etc, is abusive, because it means there's no help with the day to day requirements of life for those not drinking, and in many cases it actually means there's extra work taking care of a grown adult who acts like a child. I could go on.
This said, this "abusiveness" tends to diminish somewhat once the alcohol is removed from the equation, and as long as the alcoholic/addict is actively working a good program I believe it can eventually go away at least almost completely. The abusive behavior and the alcohol are related, and in many cases the love of alcohol and/or fear of admitting there's a problem and/or the side effects of the alcohol caused the abusive behavior.
Does that make any sense?
EDIT: Found this link. It's geared more towards kids, but I think it helps clarify some things, and breaks things out really well.
What is Abuse?