Wow. Your story sounds familiar...maybe without such rage but certainly with the blame and lack of acknowledgment and the Dr.Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing. Day in, day out. Promises made, never kept. Apologies full of empty sincerity. Boundaries set and not held firm. Threats made and not carried through. Wash, rinse, repeat. The cycle is there, good for you for beginning to remain objective enough to see the cycle. It's called alcoholism and its not going to change until he changes. Or you break it.
This is going to be very hard on you. I am living it now. Each day brings forth new emotions and new challenges, and note that I say challenges and not barriers! At least now I come home to peace and serenity and I am no longer a bulls-eye for his BS. And I am beginning to let myself 'see' a future without him and it looks promising. Scary as all get out, but still promising!
Here's something I read recently that I've since committed to memory. Hope maybe it might stick with you, too.
"You will need to be in touch with your common sense, lest you be drawn off course by comfortable, insufficient solutions to problems that require clear thinking, bold action, and a willingness to confront adversity"
Wishing this for you today. Be strong and have faith in yourself. Take good care.