I agree with everyone here SD.
You have to stop this, man.
The choice is yours - you can just be what you are now - or you can be who you want to be....but only action will get you there
If you really think you've given AA enough of a go to say it's not your thing - try SMART, try LifeRing, try RationalRecovery or whatever.
Try counselling. Heck, try rehab.
How much is it worth to you to be the Dad you wanna be?
How much are you prepared to put into things to make that happen?
D