dear floss,
just wanted to send my support. Seems the change process is filled with movement forward and then back and then forward. I think I heard once that setbacks allow us to practice changing - to reinforce what we have learned and practice putting it in place.
Can't skip these lessons - learning is a process or it isn't learning.
Don' t be so hard on yourself. You are here aren't you? You found your way back and know what you have to work on now. It is ok.
Sending prayers and hugs.