Neurontin
Neurontin, or gabapentin, is an anti convulsant drug that is sometimes used to treat depression and anxiety when other drugs don't work.
Given at high enough doses, it definitely works. It may be that the doctor didn't give you enough yet, because you didn't complain about it. Most people starting it feel real "drugged", wiped, "weird", sleepy, or SOMETHING. For me, I felt "loaded" but not in a good way. I was given this drug when NO antidepressant worked for me, and in fact made me way worse.
The weird, dopey feeling on Neurontin goes away after awhile, after which for some people it works great for anxiety and mood. I take 800 mgs once a day and feel no effect except less anxiety. I would like to stop taking it now, only because I want to reduce the number of medications I really "need" each day, which means my blood pressure pill, my cholesterol lowering pill, and pretty much nothing else.
I stopped taking oxycodone/oxycontin ("oxy's) because I recognized I had become addicted to them and that my whole existence became centered around them. Plus they were making me feel sicker than they made me feel good, and that was on higher, and yet even higher doses from multiple doctors and pharmacies. Can't keep that up and live a full life.
You sound like you may be coming to that realization with your substances you like to use. After awhile, the things that were good about them become outweighed by the things that are bad about them. If you have a good doc, maybe that person can help you sort this out and help you stop, if that's what you want to do. I stopped alcohol over 20 years ago when I recognized IT was controlling my life. Oxy's were harder, but any of these substances can be stopped. And, yes, the sobriety IS worth it.
Wanting to do it is the first step. Getting off of them is the next. The latter can't happen without the former. This is a good place to come to hear about the experiences people have getting off substances, why they did it, how they did it, how they succeeded, how they failed and then often suceeded because they failed. Lots of stuff.
I got a lot out of reading the "oxycodone withdrawal help" thread, which started quite awhile ago, but felt like home to me. My posts are in the latter part of the thread, but there are a lot of good ones all the way through it.
We want to hear from you, how you are doing, what you decide to do. Your story helps us as much as we can help you.