Hi Nula, I found the same thing except i was 2-3 years in fellowship till i decided my easier softer way was not working. I had a sober rockbottom and decided to stop playing and to get on my knees and ask for strength to find a sponsor to help me through the steps.
Spent a long time on step 2, until i realized that that I didn't need to be a theologian or a philospher questioning the existance of a god or not, all I had to do is belive in something greater than myself, was an athesit, became an agnostic, an open minded agnostic. The only thing I know is that there may be a god but in every alternative u niverse i am not it or one of them.
I realised that I did have faith, in aa and I could pray to anything, my friend prays to his cupboard, the key is the ability to be humble, get on your knees and pray. Prayer ios key to this alcoholics recovery. I pray all the time. Bit strange for an agnostic but prayer does work, the only people who scoff are those who have not used it enough