I do think this is a tough one. My RAH is 11 months sober. He is at a place where he can skip meetings for other events but knows when he should be at a meeting for himself. I will say that anytime my RAH says he is going to a meeting I am very happy. For 14 of our 15 years together (including separation time), I remember lonely, worried, sad, aggravating, miserable, sickening, sleepless nights. I had prayed (pretty hopelessly) for my RAH to find sobriety/recovery. So, when my RAH chooses to go to a meeting I am actually so grateful. For my husband to be in a place where recovery is taking place is worth more than gold to me! (That would be one of the best birthday presents for our child because w/o sobriety/recovery I realize my child has no father & I have no husband).
Having said this, however, for myself & my family, you should honor how you feel & what you feel will be important & valuable for your son. I hope s win-win compromise can be worked out for your family! Big hugs!