So, in hindsight, I think I did a pretty codie thing and need some thoughts on how to deal with it (you know...the whole "Let me help. Let me give you support" stuff). When I was taking part in the family program at the treatment center in Dec/Jan, I connected with a woman there who is from the same town I live in. She told me that her husband was feeling very angry and frustrated and having a really rough time with things. I talked with her about my perspective on living with an A and suggested Beatty's book and AlAnon. I gave her my business card (with my email address) and told her that her husband could contact me if he wanted to go along to a meeting because sometimes its easier to go knowing someone.
So today I get email.
N**** has been talking a lot about you the last few days. First, thank you for serving as her sponsor. Next, would you be open to meeting me at some point over the next week? I believe that you may be able to help me better understand the process that she is going through. I work out of *******, but am spending at least 2 days/week working out of the home. Wed afternoon and Friday are open for me at this time, and we should be fairly open over the weekend.
It took me awhile to figure out who in the world this was from. I work for a university so the only sponsorship I could think of was for exchange students. LOL!!! Then it just hit me.. Of course, my first thought was "he must have misunderstood". When I called to confirm my thought that it was her, it was pointed out to me that relapsing A's lie their fannies off at that there is a chance that she is telling her husband that I am her sponsor (the actual words were "sounds like she has given up and is lying her a$$ off). The recommendation was to respond with "I only know N***** through conversations during her treatment. Nothing more". Now, being me, I felt like I should (of course) write a novel about how I hope I'm not causing problems and that there might be a misunderstanding. I sat down to write the reply and froze.
Any thoughts would be appreciated. I feel like there must be a happy medium between the cynical alcoholic reply and the codie Pollyanna reply.
Why am I so torn up about this? Sheesh!