Chelle3

Sorry, to post so much on here lately. I feel like a board hog. I'm very appreciative for the honesty here and I feel like the dose of reality is helping me to process things more quickly. And I want the pain to be over soon.

For those who don't know, AH and I are separated but living in the same house. He is actively drinking and seeing a therapist for other issues of his own (not alcoholism).

Since we agreed we would divorce he has become more responsible and has started reaching out to our kids age 15 & 17. He's doing his laundry and taking care of his elderly dad (I used to do this). He's cheery while he used to be gloomy and negative. He's talking to the girls and I, he ignored us before unless necessary.

My youngest daughter is just eating this up. She got her permit this week and he took her out driving for the first time, not once but twice today. He couldn't be bothered to take our oldest out when she got her license and many times refused to let her drive when he was in the car because it was too stressful. My youngest daughter has always tried to reach out to her dad, letting him know she loved him and making sure to try to connect with him. Now they're talking and joking when no talking occured before.

He's also started to hide his drinking, taking it outside and scrambling bottles from the fridge to the car so I can't tell how much he's drinking-I shouldn't even be keeping count. I think this is so they won't see him drinking.

I know I should be glad he's trying to reach out in a positive way to them. Maybe he's trying to build a positive relationship before the divorce. Something in me just doesn't trust this though. I feel like he's trying to win them over to take them away from me (real mature I know). I also don't want him to be there for them now and then drop down into his dark hole and disappoint them later when he becomes emotionally unavailable as he always has been. He couldn't be bothered with them before, unless it was something he wanted to do. Birthdays, softball games and recitals were only attended grudgingly.

Am I wrong to be suspicious? Could this be for positive reasons only? He's still ignoring my oldest though. Probably because she is quiet and doesn't reach out to him like the younger one does. This breaks my heart, because if she catches on to the""new relationship" her dad has with her sister, I know she'll be crushed.

I feel sick for suspecting anything. If he knew I was upset he would say Ï'm d*amned if I do, and D*mned if I don't. You complained when I didn't do things with them and now you're upset that I am."

Any thoughts?