Originally Posted by Jarhead
Hi,
For a long time I've only known how to be either angry or high,and either way I was mentally abusive to my family. I am thoroughly apalled and ashamed for the way I have treated my family for years and can't seen to stop beating myself up over this, I'm not sure I deserve to stop beating myself up.
I like all of the above except the last phrase.
We
absolutely must stop beating ourselves up.
How the heck to we recover if we don't?
You sound like an honest and intelligent man. We all arrive in the recovery zone from different directions, and with different emotional suitcases right?
You have a month of sober time. Affirm that accomplishment to yourself. Use it as a stepping stone towards working a recovery program in all of your daily affairs. And most importantly, work at accepting the things you can't change. All you have is yourself at the moment. Work on forgiving yourself. Your family will take care of what they have to take care of. All you can do is become a better man for you. And as recovery progresses, we learn to act in such ways that we become a living amends.
Concern yourself with that which you can control.
You, in all the glory and grace that you deserve.
One day at a time.
Welcome.