Cyranoak.
I've just deleted a reply which addressed your comments point by point in just about the same tone as yours as I don't think it was at all helpful to the OP, if she ever comes back to this thread.
I'm genuinely delighted that things with you and your wife are in a good place right now and I really do hope that your journey continues well for the rest of your lives. However that doesn't change the fact that an awful lot of people who work AA are not so lucky. You can choose not to believe that all you like, in fact you may need to, but it doesn't make it not so.
However denigrating "studies" and "science" by accusing people of bias, lack of experience or with silly fake statistics isn't a proper argument or discussion. Incidentally however, I do have plenty of experience with the 12 Steps. They went against my instincts but I followed them and the Al-Anon advice, while my husband began AA. This period of my life coincided with the very worst time of my marriage and my husband's drinking. Eventually I began to study addiction, psychologically and scientifically. I decided to follow my instincts which were to be more supportive and with 3 months my husband was doing fantastically. So, while I don't put huge stock in isolated anecdotes, I followed a path consistent with the conclusions from Harvard and not looked back.
My view isn't consistent with AA/Al-Anon/12 Steps. Simply because my view is that addiction is far, far too complex to be helped by only one treatment. Some people will be helped by it certainly, because it's a good fit for them. But if it is not a good fit for you, it can be destructive. This may well be true of other treatment options too. I've not aware of any studies which examine the effect of SMART, Rational, private psychiatry, medication, etc on marriages. If you know of any point me their way and I'll happily read them. If I have a bias that is only because of conclusions I've drawn from long study.
That study is fluid and open-minded. I'm the type who's always learning and willing to be proved wrong. (It's how I've managed to keep my portfolio profitable in the last 10 years.)