Originally Posted by
duqld1717 
How is it that certain people have power over us like this and others dont?? Before I met my ex, I came across many guys that acted needy towards me or wanted me to do things for them and I told them to go "stick it where the sun don't shine"....then I met my ex, and I thought his words were as sacred and important as the Bible. He was an alcoholic of course but why is it that we let certain people control us and others we don't? Any thoughts?
Thinking back to basically all of my relationships, I think that I have a tendency to get too involved, to be a people pleaser. I think with my AXBF, it was a codependent relationship that developed because we were both emotionally needy. Other guys would have run for the hills if I started acting needy and doing some of MY "crazy" behavior. I think that I've only had one semi-normal long-term relationship in my life (and I've had a few...).
Working with a therapist and reading a lot of self-help books has led me to believe that it stems from my childhood (sexual and emotional abuse). Now, I have to figure out how to live and react differently. It's doing things that may not be comfortable and really taking the time to figure out what I like, need, etc.