Tough 30 Days
Hi,
I am new here and to the program. I just celebrated my 30 days and I am having a hard time keeping myself together. My story in a nutshell is my wife finally had enough of my routine, she packed up the kids and left. This hasn't come to divorce yet but it is definatly teetering on the edge. To complicate matters more we are in the middle of building a new house together. I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone that this is seriously messing with my recovery. The worst part about this is the realization that our marriage splitting up was my fault. For a long time I've only known how to be either angry or high,and either way I was mentally abusive to my family. I am thoroughly apalled and ashamed for the way I have treated my family for years and can't seen to stop beating myself up over this, I'm not sure I deserve to stop beating myself up.
Does anyone have any suggestions on a good way to handle this? It is driving me crazy and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I want so much to stay clean and sober, but lately I've been thinking about using more and more.
Help!!!!