I look at my recovery with a two pronged approach. There is my recovery from the disease, and my habit. I don't mean habit like the street term, I mean habit of daily activities, holidays, birthdays, and weekends. When I was ten months sober, I had my 43rd real birthday. FiFi and I were bee-boppin' down the freeway, and flying out of my mouth I said, "hey, it's my birthday, we got to go to the liquor store".
I didn't have a craving, or anxiety attack, or anything. It was just habit. Now I am at fifteen months, and just the other day I was thinking that I needed to go to the warehouse and organize my tools. Without thought, I said, "honey, I think I'll take the day off, grab a twelve pack and spend the day organizing my tools". Again, habit caught me. Again, no craving, or thoughts of drinking.
So, while you're feeling like this
, it's normal. Try to laugh it off, and do something for yourself that you couldn't do if you were drinking. Although, early on there were times when I grabbed some ice cream and put in a movie. Another thing I did early was put on my jammies as soon as I got home so that I would have to change clothes if I got tempted. It would give me time to think it out.
Your doing great! Keep looking for those warning signs, and narc yourself out to another person.