I think you sound strong and sure of yourself ~ which is awesome.
I heard something similar several years ago and didn't defend myself at all. As a full-fledged codependent, I promptly took his relapse(s) on as something I should have been able to prevent. I did see them coming, but I'll be damned if I could do anything or say anything to stop it from happening.
One of the times that I dropped him off at detox (how many "normies" can say that, huh?), his blood pressure was through the roof. The nurse scolded me and said that I "have to make sure that he takes his medication!" That p*ssed me off and I told her that it was not my responsibility to make sure that he did anything. My 250# alcoholic has never done anything that I think he should do! I also asked her who was going to make sure that I take my medication?!