You have other kids in the house so its not really just about what you and your husband are ok with..i do think its perfectly rational to tell him he has to get help or leave..does that not seem rational to you?Worst case scanario..he does something to one of your other kids,or one of their friends..theoretically child welfare could be involved..
I'm sure you know that lack of sleep ALONE can induce psychosis..that kid who shot the congresswoman was denying himself sleep on purpose..this just sounds like too much for you guys to be dealing with..it seems clear he needs to be in a hospital type setting, which i know you want, but things are getting progressively weirder and more concerning each time you post..I wonder the effect it is having on your other kids..I know when I was so worried about my daughter, my son could've been on fire and I wouldn't have noticed..i regret that