trixieisme

It's been a few months since I have been on here. I fell off the wagon...and then it dragged me down the street for months. I wasn't drinking every day...mainly because we moved back East and I still don't have a job, so I have no money. But whenever I got a little bit of money, I would drink. I went to NC to see my mom last week, and was drunk every day. But that was because she was willing to buy me beer. So, I got home Saturday, and decided that I need to take a break from drinking. I would like to be able to quit. But, I'm afraid that, like last time, I will start to miss the taste. Or, when I see other people drinking, I get so jealous. It's like I start to see red. My husband still isn't drinking, but still doesn't understand what an addiction to alcohol is, so he just keeps giving me a hard time whenever I try to talk about it.

It gets even worse now, because drinking what all that I really had. Now, with no job and no money, I am also stuck in the house all the time because the East Coast keeps getting slammed with snow. It just kicks my depression into over-drive and I don't know what to do.

So, now I am back, and I hope that I will find the strength in myself, with the help of you all, to start making the right decisions for myself, and for whatever my future may hold.

Thanks for listening.