Hi kia!
I am going to share my experience.
After the abusive alkie I thought I had found a "new healthy bf".
Months later he turned out to be abusive although in other aspects and even if he was "better" than the abusive alkie (heck
anyone would have been "better") it was still something far, far from what I truly deserve, and far from what I truly want in someone.
It was 50/50, yes they are who they are but I was also the one who chose them. And stayed. And tried to believe they were good people. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted for my life, much less what I wanted in a partner. (I still don't know anything but now I am aware it is important to know the answers and I am worth the time it will take to find out).
Many times I wonder about people that seem unable to stay single for a while and I am suspicious of them now. One has to feel radiant, happy, fulfilled before she can share that with someone. One has to be able to have relationships based in love not based in fear, or based in need.
Anyway I know you will do what you want to do and I don't want to spoil everything but I would have saved another year and a half of heartache had I stayed single to truly sort out why I ever interacted with an addict and why I stayed for way more than any healthy person would have. I hope you keep up your work with your counselor and create time to spend by yourself, and find out who kia is... and what truly fulfills your heart. After such a destructive relationship with the last one I find difficult to believe you have healed completely. This is my impression from the outside. Of course going out and having fun helps but if it is with true friends that are able to drink water or tea or whatever non alcoholic just because they know your experience with alcohol and that it may trigger you. If we were friends in real life I would NEVER EVER open a can of beer or drink anything infront of you. I am not sure if I am explaining myself, but if an evening out causes tension, I know I am not in the path to inner peace.
Just my 2 cents
I hope you don't feel judged or attacked by this post, it is meant with love & respect.