The longer I am on SR the more I realize that when we are lucky enough to find our way here and ask the question, we usually already know the answer.
I'm going try to channel Barb here (cause she's so stinkin' smart and I want her to know that I really listen to what she says...LOL). The best thing you can do right now is educate yourself, ask lots of questions and listen to your heart. Keep coming back...there are tons of people here who understand right where you are and the confusion in your head. It gets clearer...not always the picture we WANT to see...but it does get clearer.