Corri

I'm looking for input from folks on how Recovery has impacted Significant Other type relationships.

I picked up my 30 Day Chips last night (HOORAH!!) and I'm currently working the Fourth Step with my Sponsor (just to give you all a sense of where I am at). I feel an amazing change occurring on the inside of me, and I love it.

One of the things I'm noticing, however, is a gulf forming between me and my fiancee. He is not an addict. He does not drink at home, and only drinks socially. He is very supportive of my recovery. Our social life has changed quite radically, obviously, as our socializing revolved around friends and dining and drinking. Wine was a huge part of our lives. I developed the problem with it, he didn't. However, what seemed to be the center piece of our lives is now missing, you know? He has not complained once about this, so I am sure it's me.

I feel emotionally distant from him. I'm almost reluctant to say this out loud because I don't want to create a problem that really isn't there... I feel LOST in my relationship. I'm doing 'my thing' in recovery, he does his thing with work... it just seems that the anchor which held it all together is... gone.

Everyone keeps telling me to stay focused on my Recovery... nothing comes before it. I AM changing, and that will obviously have an impact on every part of my life (which is actually a good thing). Become the person I was meant to be and all other things will take care of themselves, including relationships.

I get that. I'm good with that. I think I'm struggling against my compulsion to try and FIX something, and I don't think there is anything TO fix, other than myself.

Okay, I'm babbling now. I'd be most appreciate of thoughts and experiences from others on this topic.

Thanks.