Originally Posted by Eight Ball

Hi duqld1717 and welcome to SR

I would also agree that your BF sounds like he has a serious problem with alcohol and the fact that it is becomming a problem for you is a classic sign that his drinking has become unmanageable. (He is not managing to maintain a healthy relationship with you) This really was when I found out that my AH of 22 years was an alcoholic when I asked him (many times) to cut down and he couldnt. In my frustration, I eventually asked him to choose between me and the beer and the beer won. That doesnt sound normal does it - 22 yrs of married life or beer!

I too have heard the line 'if you drank more, we would get on better', I have also been told that he was going to go out and look for someone who enjoyed drinking as much as him, so that he could enjoy his life more. They are all variations on a theme of taking the focus of them and their drinking and making it about you. You see, you start to believe that maybe they dont have a problem, maybe your not good enough for him, maybe he would be better with someone more suited to him and maybe he is looking for that someone. It chips away at your confidence and self esteem until you get stuck.

I am you, only 30 years in, with children (grown adults), a life time together, and finding it impossible to stay or leave! Alcoholics have a good side, that can sometimes make it really difficult to give up on and you get stuck. You are still in the very early days of a relationship 1 yr in and have quickly picked up that you deserve a whole lot better - why settle for less than?

Please carry on reading and posting on this site and you will soon learn that there are very few 'happy ever ending' stories on SR whether the alcoholic gets sober or not.