Recovery, for me, is being able to be happy in life without having to use drugs and alcohol to escape.
The question is, how do we get there? The reason I drank for so long was that I liked the affects of alcohol. When I was young it meant being free and having the courage to do things I never had before. As I got older it helped me deal with a crappy day, crying kids, stressful work environment, and any other stress that came along.
Irritable, restlessness, and discontent was eliminated by alcohol. Sounds great right? The problem with me is I am an alcoholic. Which means that when I drink - a physical craving follows. When I have one drink I want another, then another, and so on. I am not capable of controlling my drinking once it enters my body.
The Phenomenon of Craving
I then came to the point where I said, "That's it, I can't drink". The problem was that since I wasn't "in recovery" I was MISERABLE when I wasn't drinking. All of the stresses of life were being felt and absorbed without any solution. MY solution (alcohol) was no longer an option. This void left me absolutely miserable. And after a few days, or a week, or a few weeks my willpower gave way to the mental obsession of the first drink.
If I agree I am an alcoholic, and I can not drink normally, that's just half the battle. I must find a way to not take the first drink (which will trigger the allergy / craving).
THAT IS WHERE RECOVERY COMES IN.
I must find a way to live that will allow me to be happy and deal with all of the emotions that accompanies our lives. Kids, Wives, Friends, Finances, Parents, etc... all can be tremendous stresses on us. We must find a way to deal with these things and still be happy.
For me, that is where the 12 steps of AA come in. It allows me to look at who I am and what I've done. It allows me to make good on my wrongs and move forward from there. It allows me to take personal daily inventory of myself and when wrong admit / deal with it right away as opposed to letting it build. And finally, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, it allows me to invite a power greater than myself -of my own understanding - to come into my life and help me with these things.
Without recovery and without booze I would be miserable. With recovery, I don't need the alcohol and my life can be more fufilling than I ever dreamed.
Hope this helps...