my date with new guy
Well i had my date with new healthy bf it went ok apart from one incident that
was me nothing he did will explain ,we had been for a nice meal out few drinks all was good decieded we would buy some more and go back to the hotel and i went to the toilet.Whilst in there i heard him open what i thought was a can of beer it wasnt as deep down i knew we hadnt bought about but i panicked couldnt leave the bathroom and when i didnt come out he worried and coaxed me out saying hes not the A and hes not complete polar opposite to him and slowly he talked me to calmess again he does seem to have that effect on me.
It did scare me a little that reaction so i will mention it to the counsellor cos i dare say it will take time to get past that reaction when i hear that noise but well the new guy handled it really well and comforted me and made sure i was ok for the rest of the nite for first time in along time i felt safe and comfortable with a different guy and i know some will say its too soon but hes what i need to restore my faith and trust in men.Apart from that the date went really well got to know him alot better and was nice having ordinary chat with a guy without fearing it was gonna turn nasty at any moment cos it just didnt and it was lovely.
The future i have no idea cos i darent look too forward into it tis scarey and im waiting on him organising another visit which im finding quite hard cos its meant me letting go of the control and havent done that in along time and it involves trusting he will sort it out for us but i gotta trust at some point in time and hes reassured me he will sort it and that he does want to see me again its just not trusting in myself but suppose that will come in time xxxkia