At my first AlAnon meeting, I had no idea what to expect, I was just tired of being alone. I wanted to be with other people who were going through things like what I went through, I wanted to be with people who understood instead of people who thought I was crazy for putting up with things so long, or for thinking that he really was "that bad," depending on whose side they were on.
Knowing I'm not alone helped a lot, and I don't think I would have been strong enough to stand up to XABF that fateful night a few days before Christmas if I hadn't been to those first few meetings, even though XABF decreed I couldn't go to them any more. (I started going again after he was in rehab, have been going ever since, and it truly does help.)