My AH is currently not drinking....but not working a traditional program either. Maybe instead of giving yourself the choice to go, you give him the option to stay? Sure, he works a hard job but you work hard too keeping house and raising babies (which I'm sure we can all agree isn't lay-around-on-your-keester-type work). I would take the tv out of the kitchen, but that's just me & fwiw, I am definitely disagreeable with TV anywhere in the house other than a living room/den (I'm such a meanie- no tv in the bedrooms & currently, I my kids think that video games are solely for grown ups & I'm not about to tell them otherwise.....). My AH doesn't really contribute to the house. It's frustrating and if he complains about laundry or mess, I remind him (gently) that it's his house too & that I'm not the maid. If he keeps going on about it, I walk away. For now, it 'works'...