Dignity: I too woke up crying many a mornings and when I look back, it was the movtivation I needed to do something. Maybe I needed to cry all that saddness out of me and accept that my family was going to pieces and I needed to let go of the dream of having functioning/responsible ACs ....you know a reality check. This has lead me to finally work Step 1 like my life depended on it, and it does .
With the help of this site, I am making strides to take care of myself. Just last night, I told my AD that no, she couldn't come over and visit with her daughter b/c I needed to take care of myself. Her visits leave me drained. No explanations given, just NO. It felt great! I asked a relative to have my grandaughter sleep over and I slept like a baby.
I'm learning to listen to my inner voice that says "you're tired...take a break" and realize the world will not stop spinning if I jump off for a little while.