Update
Well as I figured he is using again, big shocker I know. So as I am sitting here I am thinking it is going to take me at least a few months to get myself in a position to support my family and have him leave. So I called my back doctor today I see him next week and will try to schedule my surgery. Then I will start the job hunting which may take some time. I have not worked since before the kids were born. I was in school when I met my AH and could not finish due to illness then finances. I am feeling numb and a little lost today and putting on my happy face for the kids.