It isn't so much that I want to be that person. It isn't really about the other person.
I still want that dream in my head. The one where families are together, kids have both parents, couples have secrets (the good kind), families laugh together and share a life.
It isn't that I'm jealous of Sue and Bob specifically or that I think they are perfect. It is just a reminder of the dream in my head - the one I had to let go. And it stings. I think it is a tremendous sense of loss that I feel, not jealousy. I'm not sure how to move past it. The trick is to somehow change the dream in my head - change it to something that is attainable - or to what I already have. I'm not there yet.