Hi!! I just responded to one of your posts on another thread! Welcome! I am new here too. This is the best website for what you are dealing with. My ABF (alcoholic boyfriend) is the same way. No one in his family believes that he could be a monster. They all blame me. I call it his alter ego - named Kurt. Kurt is just plain evil. Please read as much as you can on here. It helped me beyond belief! I have discovered not only that I am codependent and therefore enabling his alcoholism, but I am ACOA (adult child of alcoholic), which is why I put up with his alcoholic behavior. Yes I love him, but I am attracted to the craziness that his illness breeds. It has taken its toll on me emotionally and physically. I am going to a counselor through YWCA domestic violence program (its free) and I am beginning codependents anonymous and Al-anon this week. I need to get my head in a better place and then evaluate my situation with him. I too am not in a position to leave him. Not yet anyway. Bottomline, we can't make them stop drinking. We need to protect ourselves and get ourselves well. Only they can stop themselves.
I am glad you are here!!!!