Hang in there j, Your learning and experiencing living life sober. It takes a while. I'm going on two years sober and I'm not the same person I was when 4 months sober. I was a hard care drinker for the last 15 years. I know recovery will take a long time maybe forever. But I'm learning to enjoy the ride. AA has taught me how. One Day at a Time. I meet new people constantly at meetings and look forward to each new day knowing that I'm growing into the person I always wanted to be. Hang in there. Wait for the miracle to happen.