Alcoholism is a disease. Think of it along the lines of that. Something out of your ability to control. Imagine if you had Congestive heart failure, left sided even. This would cause fluid to build up around your lungs. No matter how much you wanted to have just that one bowl of campbells soup with 700mg of salt. The fluid you retain would build up around your lungs and cause you serious respiratory problems.
In alcoholics, just having that one drink always leads to another, and often many many more. Its a disease, a physiological one. There have been studies that indicate it isnt at all a will power issue, but one of physiology. If you're interested in them let me know and I can point you in the right direction.
Alcoholics can't drink in the same way someone with Congestive heart failure can't have salty soup. Its an unfortunate fact that we have to deal with as alcoholics. The only solution is acceptance and abstinence.
In my case, being in and out of AA for a little while. I thought maybe I could just have two drinks today. I would be able to do it, just for that day. The next day, however, I'd have two drinks, maybe three, and the next day four or five until I was right back to where I was. You have to make the commitment to today. Today, I won't drink. Nothing at all today. Don't worry about tomorrow. Of course, you want to wake up the next day and not drink. Just take it...one day at a time.
Good Luck, I'll be praying for you!