i really drove myself half-crazy trying to figure out what was a lie and what wasn't. after a certain point, i decided none of it mattered at all...i didn't trust him...period...
so perhaps he was telling the truth, perhaps he was lying. he had lied so much that it didn't matter if this particular time, he was telling the truth or not.
what mattered was that i didn't trust him any longer. period.
however, i trusted MYSELF.
once i realized that i trusted myself and also that i trusted my intuition, i began to listen to myself. it frequently went like this:
xABF: i'm working until 5. i don't think i'll stop for a beer. i'm too tired today.
self : ignore what he said. what will happen? he will kick off work at 2, go drinking for 3 hours and then call me at 5, saying he's just home and going to sleep now.
it took a bit of practice to totally blank what he said and replace it with my hunch as to what would occur.
i was rarely wrong. at first, i'd check up on my hunches, but after awhile, i realized it didn't matter anymore, because i didn't trust him.
i think it's really important to be able to trust your partner. when that goes, for myself, it doesn't matter how handsome, intelligent, funny, etc. they are.