I believe you are obligated to honor the anonimity of anybody you see and hear at a meeting, but in my opinion it does not mean you can't tell people you are in Al-Anon. That's your decision, and you can tell anybody you want you are in Al-Anon, or not.
Guilt has no place in this.
While I don't volunteer it, the reason I freely acknowledge I go to Al-Anon is that I don't feel like lying, or as you put it, failing to acknowledge the elephant in the room. I'm tired of lying, obfuscating, and deflecting. Honesty is so much easier, and I don't have to keep track of it (plus, it pisses off my alcoholic and I LOVE THAT).
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
johnnymau 
Not to disagree with NoDay, because I believe her point to be very valid, but here is the flipside, in my opinion:
As an anonymous program, you do not have to tell anybody, no matter how close they are to you, that you are in Al-Anon.
Anonymity is there to protect us, however we want to use it, so that we can get better, as you said.
Your participating in the program is benefitting your daughter, even though she does not know it. You may choose to tell her at a later date, when she may be more receptive, or if and when you feel that letting her know could be of value to her.
I do not believe that you have anything to feel guilty about.