My mother knew I went to Al-Anon because she saw me the night I knew I needed to go, collapsed on the floor, crying because I just did not know what to do with ABF. At first she asked why I was going but once she saw how much reaching out to others in Al-Anon helped me, she began to see that it was my lifeline.
HAH! Then, there was ABF who to this day, feels I don't need Al-Anon. As I have told him in the past and will continue to tell him-it's MY program for me, not him and in looking at Step 1, I can't control his drinking nor can he control my participation in Al-Anon.
Other than my mom and ABF and a very close friend who is married to an alcoholic (but has yet to attend a meeting) no one else knows. The program has given me the tools to live my life with a lot more serenity and no one has to know where I get these tools.....