Hi rhainnon34! I won't chime in much cause it looks like you got a lot of support in this thread right now.
I will mention one thing though. Look at the picture you chose for this forum. I'm sure this is you and your son. Look at the mutual love going on in that picture. Those are the things IMHO that you should look at to keep going in sobreity. That is a very cool picture going on. Pictures are worth a thousand words, and it looks like to me all one thousand have meaning of love and caring.
I hope you get all the stuff like trying to get to AA, and making time worked out. Just wanted to give a sincere compliment seeing your thread!
D